Cry Baby, Cry Baby!

It's been 4 months and I'm feeling pretty confident about my mothering skills. This is a short list of things I know I do pretty well:

• Breast feeding (baby and I cried together the first month trying to master this one)
• Folding diapers so small I can fit 20 of them in my little wastepaper basket
• Catching drool before it hits the carpet
• Anticipating where spit up will fly (or which area of the shirt it will land on) based on a burp
• All the lyrics to "The Wheels on the Bus"
• How to hold and bounce her with one arm - this is Major!
• How to get all the filth out of those wee little neck folds
• Not panicking when I see vomit seep inbetween floorboards
• The proper position to hold her while racing to the changing table and hearing the dread swish sound
• Holding my breath for 45 seconds while I clean up what caused that swish sound
• How to make my baby happy

This last one is my biggest achievement. Through illness, vaccinations, naked time when the heat is out, and the big scary bathtub I know how to make my girl smile - even laugh - when times are tough. But the one place I can't seem to make her happy is in her crib at bed time.

I've scoured the Internet and have been appauled by batshit crazy articles. One "expert" on babycenter went to so far as to say, "when infants are left to cry themselves to sleep, they are forced to conclude that they are not lovable enough to engage their parents' desires to comfort them." Are you friggin' kidding me? My 4 month old only speaks in gibberish and can't close her fingers into a fist when I'm trying to get her hand through a sleeve, yet she's cognitive enough to deduce that my not picking her up as soon as she cried means I'm witholding my love from her for philosophical reasons? The Internet really is a melting pot of morons (myself and readers excluded, of course). Don't believe me? Read this idiot's entire article at http://www.babycenter.com/404_are-we-damaging-our-baby-by-letting-him-cry-himself-to-sleep_2644.bc and do your best not to try punching her through the screen (it will only hurt your screen and she'll still have her day job).

So here's my routine - and I've been sticking to it!

• 9:30pm - Tova finally settles down and gives a yawn
• 9:32pm - Jammies
• 9:34pm - 2 books (sometimes 3 if she's comfy)
• 9:40pm - turn out the light, turn on the nightlight, and settle in for a final feeding - you know the kind where you gaze into one another's eyes and hold on to each other a little tighter knowing it will be a whole 9 hours before you're in one another's arms again...
• 9:50pm - she's not yet fallen asleep but those eyelids are droopy enough to make a basset hound jealous
• 9:51pm - carry my sweety gently to the bed, give her a final little smooch and lay her down on her ba-

WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Yeah, she's the picture of perfection until her back touches the mattress and then she's a banshee trolling the house for souls and eardrums. So what do I do? I lean in and give her a kiss, stroke her cheek and make sure she sees me looking lovingly at her through the retched shrieks. I tell her I love her and back out of the room. I let her cry for 5 whole minutes at which point I walk back in and pick her up. She immediately ceases screaming, holds me tightly and nuzzels into my neck. I give her a kiss and big hug and tell her I love her. I gently set her back down and Waaaahh! It all begins again. I back out of the room and let her cry for 10 minutes at which point it stops as suddenly as it began. I peek in and see her sucking her fist and 1...2...3...4... it's fallen to her side and she's asleep.

She will now sleep all the way until 7:34am (yes, it's that exact).

It all looks great on paper, but when it's happening I feel like the world's worst parent - really neglectful and horrid and deserving of many warts.

I'm hoping it will get better, that she'll cry less as time goes by and realize that I am right outside the door and ready to spring into action. She will learn that she can soothe herself to sleep and gain great confidence (and great sleep) from the experience. But that shrieking, like she's been stuck with a pin, it eats at me when it's happening.

I know I'm doing a good job though. I know because at 7:34am when she coos into the monitor and I walk into her room that before I say good morning and sing her the good morning song she's got her feet in her hands and looks my way with the biggest smile she can possibly give. It makes rainy Portland mornings a lot sunnier.

Coke Balls

My friend Amanda served this up at our most recent mama's group and I Have to share it with the world!

Coke Balls (or "Sweet N' Sour Meatballs"):

Turkey Meat Balls - cooked and crispy

Equal parts Coke and Ketchup - I did 1 cup each

Mix ketchup and coke in saucepan and heat at low for 20 minutes. Add in cooked meatballs and simmer another 10 minutes.

Enjoy with mashed potatoes or veg.

Thoughts on Children's Music

So I got this fab swing for Tova on Craigslist. Not only does it swing so hard it can throw her 12 feet across the room (get your pillows and trajectory calculator ready!) but it has lights and music. So I get her in and switch it all on one rainy afternoon. The lights should have been what got her attention, but no, it was the music that got us both down in the dumps.

It wasn't so much sad as it was inapropriately epic for a child's toy. We're talking progressive rock meets Yani type epic.

And then there's her jungle mat. It's all a big rip of Dora the Explorer - there's even a monkey with boots - not red ones - but big Uggy looking ones 5 sizes too big for a monkey. When you play the music on this mat you're thrust into a foreign nightmare where hip congos and maracas furiously shake out french classics. 5 seconds in you want to suffocate yourself with a Beret full of refried beans - it's awful!

So it comes down to two questions for me:
1. Who reviews/approves this crap? Honestly? Is there no quality control between the drawing board and the distributor?
2. What kind of strange horrible people create this music for a living? I'm reminded of that great SNL sketch that captures 5 minutes in the creation of a meditation cd. I imagine it would be a guy alone in his home studio who's balding on top but letting it all grow out down the back with a willowy white silk shirt on just jamming out passionately to his newest twist on The Itsy Bitsy Spider. What I wouldn't give to NOT be a fly on his wall (and I'm sure he has many).


I'm going to leave you all with a Good Buy. Best mobile ever with best songs ever - and I don't mean creepy good, I mean you can have it on loop all day and you it won't leave you trying to cut your ears off with a dull knife:

Tiny Love Soothe N' Groove Mobile from Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Love-Soothe-Groove-Mobile/dp/B005VDX2RO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1351897203&sr=8-1&keywords=tiny+love+soothe+n+groove+mobile

Squash Soup

I recently saw a similar recipe in a parenting magazine and had to share my own version. What I love about it is that it tastes great for both you and baby - much better than the yuck-fest you get from baby food jars. Just remember to share with the wee one and not hog to yourself!

Winter Squash Soup

Butternut squash peeled and cut lengthwise with seeds removed.

One large sweet potato quartered.

Olive oil

One quart chicken stock

1/2 cup heavy whipping cream

1/4 cup Parmesan cheese

How to: brush squash and sweet potato lightly with olive oil. Cook for 35 min at 375 degrees. Remove and chop both into big chunks and add to boiling chicken broth - simmer for 10 min. Place everything in batches into food processor and purée. Pour back into pot and add cream and Parmesan cheese.

Enjoy with your favorite dark rye or pumpernickel bread.

Good Buy Baby: Best Baby Brands

It's amazing how much clothing your wee one can accrue in 4 months. After two checkups she's been labeled by her doc, "the most average baby you could hope for." And that's good in terms of clothing because having a kid in the 50 percentile for both height and weight means clothing sizes mean exactly what they say. Well, this isn't exactly true. So 4 months and 2 'Pass It On' events later I've compiled a list of best baby brands. Keep in mind this is unscientific, unsponsored, and based entirely on my experience alone, so take it as you will. But man what I would've given (or not given according to my wallet) to have this list sooner!

Ariel's Best Baby Brands 2012

General Overview:

CARTERS: true to size, good material, well cut and sewn, durable, no shrinkage after dryer
GAP: true to size, good material, well cut and sewn, no shrinkage after dryer
VITAMINS BABY: at least one size smaller than size shown (I buy 6 month and it fits like a 3/3-6 month), fabric ok, sewn for long thin bodies, shrinks in dryer
BABY GRAND: true to size, soft material that stays soft after continuous washing but flimsy material - more for fancy playdates than warmth, fabric pulls open between snaps (exposure of baby's legs and diaper), no shrinkage
FIRST IMPRESSIONS: true to size, good material, well cut and sewn yet fabric between snaps on legs stretch open to let cold air in, very soft and pretty clothing for all occassions that wash well and don't shrink
GERBER: true to size, bad materal (like itchy and full of fabric balls after on wash bad), cut and sewn badly on legs, zipper sewn badly and causes twisting of material and what I call "leg suffocation" from material pulling tightly around leg
CUTIE PIE: true to size, ok material, cut and sewn ok, fabric pulls open between snaps causing exposure, no shrinkage
SPASILK: true to size, super soft material, well cut and sewn, durable, no shrinkage after dryer
LITTLE ME: at least one size smaller than size shown, ok material, fabric pulls between snaps


Ariel's Best Buys:

CARTERS: best overall quality and bang for your buck. I love love love the Sleep n' Play outfits and have had to fight other customers at Marshalls for these when they come in. Also, rely on Carters for super soft bath towels and wash cloths that last and last.
SPASILK: again, awesome Sleep n' Plays which are all you want to put your baby in for the first month.
GAP: Best outfits for people who have the money to buy Gap anything for their kids. Honestly, I wish I had the dough to spoil my child with Gap gear!
FIRST IMPRESSIONS: best clothing for visiting grandma, hands down

          
Spasilk's oh-so-comfy bodysuits                   Carters Just One You       First Impressions - does that come in mommy size?


Ariel's Worst Buys:

GERBER: Poor baby Tova has had her circulation cut off more than once in these outfits, and don't even get me started on the poor quality of their burp bibs. I mean really, come on, you can't use something just a little softer for my baby's drooly-grin? I used one to attack a lazy booger and I swear it took the outermost layer of her skin clear off. You could get rug burn draping one over your shoulder!

                 
                Beware these onesies!                     Maybe if I buy their socks the material will file her nails for me

Good Buy Baby! Leg Warmers

It's October and it's getting cold, but not so cold that baby has to be in a sack of fake fur (or whatever monstrosity they're trying to pedal at the store... if I wanted my baby to look hairy I'd have mated with an ape!)

The cold brings with it all sorts of trouble. You can't just put baby in a body suit because then she'll be too warm once you enter the store - and have you ever tried getting her out of snowpants in a shopping cart? Or the age-old dillema of going potty. By the time you get the bottoms off to change her diaper she's too hot up top, too cold down below, and has a jumpsuit the size of a pillow holding her back up in the kind of yoga pose you wouldn't dare try at home.

And then there's that October weather that turns from freezing in the morning to hot as heck in the afternoon. This is the weather I'm focusing on today. You bundle up baby and by the time 1pm rolls around you're both sweating and you've got to decide who gets to lose the long sleeves first while the other cries. Some pals at my playgroup (and I mean MY playgroup, babies get to entertain themselves) donned some pretty fab items last month that I finally got around to purchasing this week: Leg warmers for baby. We're talking Flash Dance leg warmers like the kind we rocked in middle school.

                                                       "This cow goes 'Moo-La-La!'"

These things are great! They are one size newborn to toddler and that means baby's entire leg is covered all the way to her onesie. And they're not just for girls, I've seen some rad stripes and sports themed themed leg warmers for wee guys too. And the best part? You don't have to strip them off for a diaper change. That's right, baby's legs stay toasty.

I highly recommend "My Little Legs." They come in a variety of colors or you can get a 4-pack for $20 on amazon. They are thick, durable, warm, and wash well. Tova is currently donning animal prints. These leg warmers can also be used on baby's arms if she's wearing a short sleeve and needs a warm-up.

Instant Halloween Costume - Awesome!

Eat Your Greens! Satay Spinach

While pregnant I was told more than once I needed to get my iron up - and that already included an iron supplement! I love vegetables as much as the next person (can you sense the irony) so I needed to find a tasty way to do so and spinach was the answer.

Spinach is one of those wonder-veggies - it's dark green, delicious, and super versatile. And you can't argue with it's ability to clean you out. So here's a recipe that's quick and good enough to serve at a dinner party.


Satay Spinach

When cooking spinach remember it shrinks waaaay down when it's cooked. So I start out using 3 bunches of spinach, or 4 huge handfuls if you buy fresh in the bag (like I do from Costco).

Heat olive oil to high in a large pot then lower temp to medium

After thoroughly washing spinach add it one handful at a time to the pot. Be careful because the oil may splatter at first from excess water on the spinach leaves. Load it all into the pot then cover and let the leaves cook down for a few minutes. Drain out water.

Add 2 garlic cloves diced and mix into leaves now leaving uncovered.

Add a huge hunking over-the-top spoon full of peanut butter. Allow it to melt and mix in.